If you go down in the deep today, you might get a big surprise. At Hallowe’en the usual ghosts, ghouls and monsters are all-too-familiar. But if you want a real fright, you really need to see what’s lurking in the sea.
So, prepare yourself as we introduce you to seven of the spookiest, kookiest and most sinister denizens of the deadly deep, deep sea.
Anglerfish – the bodysnatching bride
Who says romance is deadly? The female anglerfish makes a
black widow spider look like a loving partner. Quite apart from the massive
gaping mouth full of sharp teeth which its prey is lured into, any potential suitors are
in deep trouble. When a suitable male gets up close, he becomes joined on and
absorbed into the female’s body. She keeps the er ‘useful’ parts on hand for
when she needs them later. Totes romantic.
Vampire squid – spiny cloak of gloom
With a scientific name that literally means ‘vampire squid
FROM HELL’, things don’t bode well. Managing to make deep blue eyes look
sinister, this deep sea squid turns itself inside out to catch its food,
showing up rows of sinister spines along each tentacle.
Red lipped batfish – Frank N. Furter of the fish world
Lumbering around the seafloor all dressed up ready for the Rocky Horror Picture Show - fish frankly don’t get much weirder than this. Not only does the flat, toad-like batfish sport garish lipstick, leg-like fins, an unruly beard, a witch-like nose and warts – but what is that thing under its nose?!
Yeti crab – arms hairier than Simon Cowell, and as long as Mr Tickle
These guys hang out around festering deep sea volcanic vents, like a bunch of menacing teenagers at a particularly noxious bus stop. Presumably they spend most of their time arm wrestling.
Goblin shark – has a nose for frights
Looking like it’s been made from leftovers in the Harry Potter props department, it has beady eyes, translucent skin, a long nose, and can propel its hideous jaws forward to snatch prey. Best not get too close.
Skeleton shrimp – Edward Scissorclaws
Wonder how this guy got its name, huh? This bony, slicy-limbed zombie creature is the stuff of nightmares. Thankfully, it’s only a few centimetres long, and those massive claws are designed for mating, not dismembering you: he's a lover, not a biter.
Blobfish – are you ready for this jelly?
Basically this is a misery-flavoured blancmange. But this Blob! ain’t coming to get you, because frankly it’s too much effort, especially when you have so few muscles. Having already been voted the world’s ugliest animal, the poor blobfish has good reason to look unhappy and desperately needs some good PR.
So, this Hallowe'en - be glad you're on dry land. And remember, creepy critters need love too!